| Feeling stuck is an unpleasant experience for most of | | | | what NOT to do! This may even mean taking action |
| us. All too often we confuse FEELING stuck with | | | | in a completely unrelated area in their life. A change in |
| BEING stuck - if we FEEL stuck it must be true! And | | | | their life 'situation' can give them a new outlook and |
| the longer we stay stuck the more we believe it - | | | | therefore new light on their problem. Also useful is |
| denting our self-esteem and any belief in ourselves | | | | the "Build a Bridge" coaching exercise - they don't |
| that we can solve this problem and get free. A truly | | | | need to be able to see the other side of the bridge; |
| vicious circle! | | | | they just need to take the first 3 steps. Once |
| Well, there are many, many ways to help your clients | | | | they've taken those they'll be able to see the next 3 |
| get unstuck - and moving. Here are 5 essential | | | | steps and so on - until they've crossed their bridge! |
| strategies to share when your clients are stuck: | | | | REFRAME: Do something, anything! |
| 1) REVIEW THE GOAL: When you have a stuck | | | | 4) STRENGTHEN THEIR INNER RESOURCES: Really |
| client - this is the first place to start. Do the | | | | support and encourage your client. Actively |
| goalposts need shifting? Do they need to be taller, | | | | demonstrate an absolute, unquestioning belief that |
| wider, in a different place? Should they be shooting | | | | they can find their own answers. And as in therapy, |
| for a hoop, not a goal? We're talking here about Goal | | | | it's incredibly important that your client feels truly |
| 'Ecology' - ensuring the goal is aligned with our client's | | | | witnessed in their current situation - that someone |
| values AND that there are no unexpected negative | | | | sees them, accepts them as they are and is willing to |
| side-effects of achieving their goal. Our subconscious | | | | move forward with them from their current |
| often realizes a goal is inappropriate long before we | | | | perspective. |
| do and this can hamper our progress. So, it's essential | | | | REFRAME: Who do you need to BE to achieve your |
| to ask first, "Why do they want the goal?" and | | | | goal/get unstuck? |
| "What are the outcomes they are looking for?" Then | | | | 5) UNLIMITING BELIEFS: Often what keeps people |
| check that the goal fits the client's lifestyle, | | | | stuck is a limiting belief around what's possible or |
| relationships and deeper values. Look for unexpected | | | | what they deserve and are capable of. Of course, |
| outcomes - now and in the future. If it's an old goal, | | | | one definition of a belief is, "Something we hold to be |
| make sure it's still valid for who they are now. And | | | | true - without any proof..." And limiting beliefs can |
| last but not least, check that it's their goal and not | | | | range from the specific like, "I don't have enough |
| someone else's... | | | | money" to more general and insidious beliefs like, "I'm |
| REFRAME: Is the goal really RIGHT for them? | | | | worthless" or "I'm undeserving." As a coach, this is |
| 2) GIVE THEM NEW PERSPECTIVES: How could they | | | | one of our prime roles - to listen closely and observe |
| achieve the same thing a different way? What is the | | | | so that we can help our clients identify and move |
| bigger picture? What options haven't they thought of | | | | through their limiting beliefs. Ask, "Where are you |
| yet? New perspectives means getting the client out | | | | getting in your own way?" and for fun, "What would |
| of fixed or black and white thinking about the | | | | you do if you DIDN'T want to achieve this goal |
| problem, and involves good questioning and | | | | wanted to remain stuck?" |
| brainstorming skills leading to the identification of new | | | | REFRAME: If there IS no proof that this belief is true, |
| possibilities. Ask them to get crazy, outrageous and | | | | why not pick a positive or expansive belief rather |
| think of downright impossible options alongside the | | | | than a limiting one? |
| 'normal' brainstorming fare! Get them making huge | | | | Of course there are many more strategies and |
| lists of ideas and get their creative right brain | | | | variations available to you, but no matter what, give |
| activated. | | | | your client endless supplies of patience and |
| REFRAME: Think Possibility not Probability. | | | | encouragement and gently remind them, often, that |
| 3) JUST TAKE ACTION, ANY ACTION: Doing | | | | there are very few impossible goals - just impossible |
| something, anything, always gives our clients more | | | | timescales... They'll get there. |
| information than they had before - even if it clarifies | | | | |